Category: Marriage

Families, Outing and More Fun

One of the most amazing blessing I am so thankful to God is my friendship with people who honors and puts Him first before everything else. People who inspire me to continue my walk with God and friends who assures me I have a family in them.

In CCF (the church where our family go to worship), we have this Discipleship Group (D-group) where we meet regularly (well almost regularly) to study the word of God and encourage one another. And I am glad that I found a group where I could fit in. Though I have to admit that we are not as consistent in joining the meetings, I truly appreciate their love and understanding.

Last June, before the school year officially started, we had the opportunity to fellowship and have fun together with the rest of Pastor Allan’s D12 and their respective D-group in Dahilayan Gardens. It was our first time as a family and the kids were just as excited upon knowing that we are going with the rest of the group.

The pictures below should spell all the fun and excitement!

Doc. Allan Melicor’s DGroup – not all of it since there were other groups who were not able to join due to already scheduled commitments.

Here we are! The Young Couples Group after all the games and our ahhhmaazing group cheer! lol! (Oh geez! good thing no video was taken to prove how amazing the cheer was for Team Michael and Friends!) and before we settle to our rooms and spend the rest of the night in this cold and beautiful place. (L-R) Team Tuyan, Team Cortez, Team Galamiton and Team Aquino (we miss you Team Alado, Team Rodano and Team Matulac). By the ages of our kids, you’d know who went ahead first! 😛

So anyway, the Family Day was dubbed as “Rumble and Tumble” and from that we can already tell that it’s going to be an energy buster! And behold! as expected everyone’s energy were all drained at the end of the program as each D-Group prepared a game — games that requires running, jumping, agility and all that can possibly suck ones exuberance.

This is the most relaxed game the group did :). Too bad I didn’t bring any camera so I was not able to capture the rest of the action!

The boys who were exhausted after all the games (Jeedo not in the picture).

My boys relaxing and enjoying Dahilayan Garden’s beautiful view.

We concluded the night with a bonfire. Everyone were just being kids!

Look! Lukee is so serious grilling the mallows? lol! Just cute!

The next day, we explored the place as the kids were excited to try the adventures Dahilayan is instore for them. Since our boys are way older than the rest of the group’s kids, we went ahead to the adventure park so they get to experience some adrenaline rush. I’ll share about their experience in a separate post real soon!

The gathering was truly a blessing. It allowed us to have a little break from the busy lives we have and spend quality time with each of our families. That also reminded us of God’s awesomeness! His creations are truly a gift and we will forever be grateful. I can’t wait for the next Family Day!

Marriage Is It Still In?

In my early morning devotions, while looking for a devotion plan to follow for the next month, I stumbled upon Mothers and Fathers Devotion and read this interesting devotion on marriage. The whole point is in this generation where most people thinks that a commitment is not necessary to be together, marriage has become a dispensable union. Let me share what I have just read.

Is marriage obsolete? In a recent Pew Research poll, about 40 percent of Americans assert or strongly assert that marriage in America is obsolete. You probably know the dismal stats about the divorce rate in our country. Here are nine reasons people give that might explain the steady collapsing of marriage in America:

  • assume that the relationship is probably going to break up at some point, and the breakup will hurt less if we were never married in the first place.
  • Marriage is an exploitative, chauvinistic anachronism that heavily favors patriarchal control. Liberated women will more likely get what they want on their own.
  • From the male point of view, women are giving it away these days. You don’t have to commit to her to get sex.
  • Single parenthood is the new normal. African-Americans are already there with single-parent birthrates in some places above 70 percent. White folks’ single parenthood stats are following.
  • My mom was a single parent, and I turned out fine.
  • Marriage is something you can think about when your kids are raised and you are secure in your job.
  • Cohabiting preserves your freedom of choice.
  • Movies and TV shows relentlessly portray young men as either uneducated, clueless, reckless, socially inept, or violent. Why would any woman want to lock in her life to such a high-risk partner?
  • I’m not going to get married until I find the perfect soul mate.

Are these the attitudes you want in your children’s minds? In your grandchildren’s? In your own spouse’s? If you don’t, God has a better way. Let’s give the divine designer a chance to explain to us how to be happily married till death us do part and how to build a family life that will give him glory.

Unforgiveness Kills

This is a repost from one of the facebook account I follow and this made its way to this blog because it makes a lot of sense. Unforgiveness and uncommunicated issues kills, not maybe physically but emotionally and eventually it will kill a relationship and a family.

Unforgiveness kills the spirit of a marriage. Unresolved conflict keeps growing. Unexpressed anger becomes bitterness. If you don’t stop it in time, it will grow into bitterness and unforgiveness. You may think you are hurting your mate by withholding love from him or her – but in reality you are hurting yourself. Bitterness is like a person who drinks poison and expects his enemy to die. Your enemy won’t die when you drink poison – you will. Your spouse won’t suffer when you are bitter – you will.” — Rev. Richard C. Whitcomb

Marriage is Not For Me


And NO, this is not something about me. I am re-blogging this because this totally made sense. It talks about the reality of marriage, it is not about me and yourself my dear readers. Marriage is about loving your spouse for the rest of your life, it is about putting your spouse and your children first before yourself. I am not saying that you forget yourself, what I am saying is, when you get into marriage, you commit yourself to the vow of  “for better or for worse, in sickness and health, for richer of for poorer, till death do us part”. Marriage is about COMMITMENT, not only in good times but moreso in hard times. I hope you guys will learn from this post as I did. God bless you all!

Marriage is Not For Me –

Having been married only a year and a half, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn’t for me.

Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.

I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. 🙂 I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.

Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?

Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.

Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.

My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, “Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”

It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person to marry. I realized that I wanted to make her happy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. And thinking back on all the times I had seen her play with my nieces, I knew that she was the one with whom I wanted to build our own family.

My father’s advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today’s “Walmart philosophy”, which is if it doesn’t make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.

No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?”

Some time ago, my wife showed me what it means to love selflessly. For many months, my heart had been hardening with a mixture of fear and resentment. Then, after the pressure had built up to where neither of us could stand it, emotions erupted. I was callous. I was selfish.

But instead of matching my selfishness, Kim did something beyond wonderful—she showed an outpouring of love. Laying aside all of the pain and aguish I had caused her, she lovingly took me in her arms and soothed my soul.

Marriage is about family.I realized that I had forgotten my dad’s advice. While Kim’s side of the marriage had been to love me, my side of the marriage had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better.

To all who are reading this article—married, almost married, single, or even the sworn bachelor or bachelorette—I want you to know that marriage isn’t for you. No true relationship of love is for you. Love is about the person you love.

And, paradoxically, the more you truly love that person, the more love you receive. And not just from your significant other, but from their friends and their family and thousands of others you never would have met had your love remained self-centered.

Truly, love and marriage isn’t for you. It’s for others.

A Divorce Man’s Advice To Men


As the world aged, people’s values and morals seemed to have also deteriorated with it. This generation have become a wreck because we are allowing the world to disciple us, to dictate us and to judge us. More and more broken homes and people have become victims of selfishness and pride. The complexity of ones person caused most probably by the hurt accumulated, the lack of honesty and courage to say what’s inside of them and just let things blow out of proportion when they think they cannot take it anymore is causing a lot of innocent lives. More and more innocent casualties in broken marriages, lives are shattered, children and spouses are forced to deal with the indescribable pain, the unfair judgement of the society and the insecurity no one ever wanted to feel. Those are reactions to brokenness that if not dealt with carefully with the right guidance could lead to a broken life that may end tragically. Brokenness that starts at home….started by two people who made the decision to create society’s basic unit…the FAMILY.

When conflict arises and the storm starts to strike a house’s foundation and when one of the two people who made the decision to build the home decides to get out and let himself/herself be carried away by the storm (indifference, unguided emotions, adultery, self issues etc.), the home surely gets desolated. Much to one spouse’s effort to keep the family intact, sadly, it is not a decision by just one. It is a decision by both persons who decided to create that family from the very beginning. Sadly, some people learn the hard way, refusing to do what is right and fitting both in the law of the land and in God’s eyes. I would like to share this blog by a man who recently received the blow of an ended marriage. Here, he humbly accepted his lapses and shared his advises to men on things he wished he should’ve done to save his marriage and his home. I hope you’ll all be blessed with his insights as I have been. It is my prayer that more men will read this blogpost, ponder it wholeheartedly with humility and commitment and make things right in case they are in a situation where they are about to make a huge mistake.

Beautiful advice from a divorced man after 16 years of marriage

My advice after a divorce following 16 years of marriage, by Gerald Rogers.

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had

1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3. Fall in love over and over again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4. Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5. It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8. Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9. Be silly… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10. Fill her soul everyday… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11. Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12. Be willing to take her sexually, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13. Don’t be an idiot…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14. Give her space… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15. Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16. Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17. Never stop growing together… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18. Don’t worry about money. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19. Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20. Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.